The holidays are a particularly poignant time for those in mourning, even if the loss isn't recent or didn't occur over the holidays. My husband and friend both saw the angelversaries of their mothers' deaths over the last week. My husband lost his mother over two decades ago, and the holidays have never been the same. His mother was Christmas to him. It's always hard for him to summon any joy this time of year. That friend has now lost her mother and father. Her brother lives far away. Her sister is far enough away that she can't always make it to celebrate holidays. She's a lost soul, and holidays are often sort of meaningless to her without someone to celebrate with.
For those whose loss is not over the holidays, it's still a tough time of year. We constantly feel the pain of those who aren't here. When I had just lost my baby, songs and imagery about newborns, pregnant women, and angels brought tears every time, and they're everywhere this time of year. The dim pall feels worse when everyone else seems so joyous and expect us to feel likewise.
If you're one who feels more darkness than light this time of year, know that you're not alone. Sometimes, with everyone singing chipper songs around us, it's easy to think we're the only one in pain. Just know the reason for the season isn't Santa, presents, or any of the trappings. It's a time to celebrate that Christ came and suffered our pain. We are never alone because He knows our pain. When he suffered in the garden, he suffered your pain, so he could carry it for you. Pray. Turn it over to Him. Let Him share His peace with you. Even if you can't summon a smile on cue, seek His peace this time of year. He will help you through. We also celebrate that He has overcome death. Because He came, we can be with our loved ones again. There is hope because of Christmas. Even if you can't really celebrate, find peace in this.
