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The sheer amount of loss around me about which I keep hearing has been disconcerting. One of my students lost her dad. It's hard to hop on FaceBook without hearing about someone losing a friend or family member. My husband mourned his mother's angelversary a few days ago, a day or two after my friend mourned hers. What is it about death and the holiday season? Is it that I'm just more attuned to it over the holidays? This is my nephews' first Christmas without their mother. I know they're feeling it. The holidays are so hard when everyone around you expects you to smile and be happy when all you want to do is sit in the corner and cry.
[My sister's dogs, Thanksgiving.]
Last time, I talked about my dog's still birth. Well, the specter of death appeared too close to home again, still in the animal kingdom. I housed my sister's five Pyrenees pups in my backyard, like I did over Thanksgiving. She finally found buyers for the three unadopted pups the last day they were back there, and she bid farewell. She was going to hold the other two for their prospective buyers. All was right with the world. Until the first then the second then the third and fourth started throwing up and showing all symptoms of parvo. One stayed immune. Any breeder will tell you this is their worst nightmare. A pup can seem healthy and strong one day and be dead the next. One pup that had gone home with someone else and another that stayed with my sister vomited blood and had to be put down. The other two are recovering. My sister was devastated her babies were dying. She thought she couldn't feel any more pain. Then, her mother dog broke the chain and got hit by a car. She's had this dog for three years and loves her deeply, as do her children. I've housed this dog and loved her myself. She was a sweet angel dog, one who was loving to everyone. I know these losses may not compare to some others, but they're still devastating to all involved. And just like the others I mentioned before, smack dab in the holiday season. And I now have the specter of death, the nearly impossible to kill parvo germs all over my backyard and possibly in my house, threatening my own newborn puppies.
What is it about the holiday season that seems to invite death and then make it so much harder when it comes? It's supposed to be a time for joy, a time for love, and a time for hope. I know we can be together forever with our families, including our four-legged family, one day. That's what the promise of Christmas means. We'll be together again. But in the meantime, the holidays will continue to be hard for a lot of people, including me.
