Child Loss:

For those seeking survival and joy after child loss.

Sunday, February 27, 2022

I've Had My Three

[Deaths in threes--source]

Why is it that death often comes in threes?  Maybe it's a cliche.  I'm thankful it's not a hard-and-fast rule of the universe, but it has happened to me over the last month.  Last time I remember such a crop of funerals was 2010, the worst year of my life when my father-in-law, my brother, and my baby died within months of each other.  Events like this bring those dark days back. This wasn't that bad only because I wasn't that close with any of the parties.  Even so, each one felt like a new punch to the gut.  I don't attend funerals, but I had to go to two in the last three weeks because I promised to transcribe the services for the sake of the families.  

[Funeral 1-source]

First was Camille Ashby, on which I blogged last time.  She'd been my friend for over a decade before her multiple brain tumors robbed her of speech then functionality.  She was wonderful, hardworking, and so loving.  Her widowed husband and at least one of her boys I talked to felt a sense of relief at no longer having to carry the burden, even as they deeply felt her loss.  I talked to her daughter for quite a while, and she felt lost, like she'd lost her best friend.  Each person experiences loss in their own way.

[Funeral 2-source]

Second was Rebecca van Uitert, my Wonder Woman mission companion, and her beloved husband.  They died in a car accident in Hawaii, leaving behind four young, adopted children. They also left a hole in their community because they were so active in serving people.  Her funeral was in a separate part of the state, so I didn't make it.  It had been several years since we saw each other.  But she really changed my life.  She taught me how to teach, how to serve, and how to follow the Spirit to know how to show love. She was just so young and vibrant.  

[Funeral 3--source]

Third was my husband's buddy in this area, RJ Rucker.  He, too, had a lot of health problems, but his wife was optimistic he'd pull through a broken leg like he had through cancer, gout, and so many other health problems.  But it was not to be.  His body just gave out, and he, too, left a hole in his family's heart where their wonderful, loving, chatty grandpa used to be. 

[Like a ship in a storm--source]

It's at times like this I can't help but remember my losses, that my angel Alli's birthday is coming up in a few days.  She would have been 12.  I'm so thankful each of us knows that our family will be complete when the Lord comes again.  As Camille's daughter pointed out, having faith in the Lord is like being a ship in the storm.  It helps you stabilize in the storm, so you're not so lost.  You're still weathering the storm.  It's still no fun.  But there is hope for the future for all of us, a hope for the healing of our broken hearts when we're all back together again.