Plans for Survival

(Craters of the Moon)

Last year, we knew that dreaded day in June was coming, Alli's angelversary, so, instead of just bracing for the inevitable pain and trying to survive it the best we could, we skipped town.  We went on a family adventure to Craters of the Moon.  It wasn't expensive because it's not a distant destination.  We just needed to get out and be busy and, above all, anywhere but home, wallowing. 

Like magic, our inexpensive voyage worked.  We kept so busy, I didn't have the whole day to feel the inevitable explosion of emotions creeping on.  I controlled it.  We still brought her baby book and brought it out at a key time to remember her.  We still invited her to join us in prayer.  But it wasn't about our emotions so much as our togetherness and celebration of family rather than a period of mourning.  I wouldn't doubt she was there for all of it, even if we couldn't see her. 

,

(hiking)

I've spent most of the month trying not to think of its ugly caboose, but my husband spent that time planning for another such day of celebration.  He booked a room in a bed and breakfast and tickets for a lovely hike to Timpanogas.  We won't idle by, waiting for the emotions to strike like a landmine under the surface.  We will celebrate her day with our togetherness and invite her along.  I wouldn't doubt my angel will be there this time, too.