Mourning with Those that Mourn

The Lord has a way of reminding me that I have been richly blessed.  When I start to feel down over losing my baby and my miscarriages, I'll hear a story or meet a person who has lost more.  When I meet people like this, I'm reminded I have much to give because of the empathy I've learned through our experiences.

A friend of mine told me a story of friends of his who lost their kids to the state and have to struggle to get them back.  We came close when my baby died, and investigators set us up for the fall through false evidence and fabrications.  The Lord protected us through a series of miracles.  Sometimes, people have a tendency to judge those who have legal troubles and/or are in danger of losing their kids.  When I meet people under the same threat, I have nothing but empathy and understanding.  

Another friend of mine was thrown into a legal mess by someone she considered friend.  She's lost everything or almost everything because of it, including friendships, trust, freedom, and valued possessions.  And it was in no way her fault.  It was all the result of lies.  We talked this week about what we'd been through, what we'd lost, and how hard it was to know we were innocent and find ourselves unable to prove it.  We cried together, and it felt good.  I've been blessed to be in a unique position to help her out during her time of hardship when she was staring into the face of homelessness.  I know the Lord gave me this opportunity to help her because He trusted me to act as his hands.  

When we go through hardships like loss and legal trouble, we can allow it to destroy us and make us bitter, or we can allow it to teach us empathy and gratitude for what we have.  It's now the holiday season, a time to remember to be grateful and to show greater love, understanding, and generosity.  It's easy to allow these seasons to remind us of our loss.  It's a time when a lot of us sink into depression as we consider what or whom we don't have with us right now.  But it's up to us how we approach this season.  Do we allow it to weigh us down or do we lift ourselves by looking for ways to lift others?  Sometimes, it's more than we can do to reach outside the darkness we're in right now.  That's when the Lord may send us angels and hands of heaven to lift us up.  

I pray all who read this find a way to survive this holiday season, find someone to cry with, find people to lift and people who will lift them in return.  I also pray the Lord will be with you and help you and those you love through this time of darkness and light.  

Into the Face of Mortality

Things were going okay.  We had challenges like anyone else, but our life was okay.  Then, we got the news recently that my husband was borderline diabetic.  People can live okay with managed diabetes, but I've seen and heard of the dangers it can pose to arms, legs, eyes, and overall health.  His brother has lost a lot of vision, likely due in part to his diabetes.  His father and mother also had it, so it's not really a surprise.  However, that doesn't mean it's going to do him any favors.  A young man I heard of recently died due directly to his diabetes.  It's scary stuff.  The best hope he has is to trim off the pounds and control the diet better. 

However, this isn't the worst of the news we've had recently.  We just learned the only sibling my husband feels at all close to was just diagnosed with skin cancer.  He found out about his condition due to miraculous circumstances rather than through careful planning or even intent.  He had no idea it was coming. Skin cancer can be curable, but only if it's caught early enough.  At this point, we can only pray it was.  My niece had cancer a few years ago, when she was little.  She was stage four and yet has been declared cancer free. 

I believe in miracles and guardian angels.  I know my Alli and others watch over me and my family.   I believe that the Savior suffered not just for my sins but also for my pains.  I know He can heal my heart.  However, I also know that the Lord sometimes asks us to undergo hard things.  I've lived many of the last years since I prayed my baby would live on what some have called "but if not" faith.  "Lord, I would like my husband/brother-in-law/baby/etc. to be cured of this malady.  But if not, I will still trust and follow."  It's a hard place to be.  We'd all like to think that all we need to do is pray, and all will be right with the world.  But that's not how the Lord works.  He tries us and blesses us as we strive to follow.  But even the most righteous, wonderful person can still suffer, can still die, can be called on to endure the most miserable trials in faith.  I will pray and even fast for my husband and his brother.  I will trust that things will go as they should, that a Father who cares enough to send us here to grow and become like Him, has our best interests at heart.  If my husband and his brother are healed, we'll show undying gratitude.  But if not, we will still believe and obey and be thankful for our blessings.